it all ends and begins here…

Posted on Saturday, 24 March

I’ve been in and out of my bedroom for half the day now since I got home early this morning coming from a graveyard shift work… thinking of what my plans now are for my life. Everything changes now. Everything is a whole new perspective for me. Everything changes and has to change. Everything is an even more challenge than what I had been having before. Everything is different.

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On Thursday…

Posted on Monday, 19 March

I’ll have my confirmation. Whatever the result will be… I will continue to live on.

But this time with more and lesser care than I had before.
But this time with more gusto and with more dare than I had before.
But this time, lesser hesitation, more hap-hazardness, lesser doubts than what I had before.

This time.
This time…

This time I know…

I will know on Thursday.

So help me God.

#randomrant 008-10032012

Posted on Saturday, 10 March

cut.tie.jump.drink.swallow.breathe.drown.which.one.or.maybe.just.let.it.take.its course.

So what happens now when your greatest fear has already been confirmed?

Posted on Saturday, 10 March

do I just continue living? what does this continuance mean? does it mean I continue to fool myself that there is still hope, that people will understand? does it mean that I don’t give up and that even though I will lose, I will die as a hero for others to see? Or does this mean I just die and fade into oblivion with the curse of a moral dilemma? do I continue?

So what happens now when your greatest fear has already been confirmed?

Posted on Friday, 9 March

More than half of me just wants to drop and die. Give up. Accept the defeat.
But this littlest part of me… the reason I’m still typing…

#randomrant 007-21022012

Posted on Tuesday, 21 February

I was thinking of how to reactivate myself…
I was thinking of how to re-inspire myself…
I was thinking of how to re-invigorate myself…
I was so so thinkng of how the hell I was going to reinvent myself.

I guess the problem is that I’ve always been reinventing myself. I think it got to a point of being too much that I lost my own identity.

and by the way… at my age… it’s hard to lose your identity at this point of life.

so I came to a conclusion.

I’m gonna keep myself as to how I ended up as. I’m just gonna continue how I am now. No more ramdom directions to take. I’ll just take on what is now and move forward from here. Makes sense? I know I don’t make sense at all.

to gist it all up…

I’m gonna just be who I have ended up as…
Being insignificant. Being random. Being no sense at all.

so here I go…

—-

Catch you on the flip side.

Posted on Tuesday, 21 February

gunplassacre asked: Hi, happy new year! :-) Newblr here. Question: What's your new year's resolution?

My New year’s resolution was I’d be more active in my photography and emo-writing…

It’s February now and as you can see in my two blogs… well… let’s just say that resolution is dissolving way too fast.

But it’s not too late yet right? right?!?! I hope so.

This lazy bum of mine is overpowering me everyday. I need a push.

thanks for the question though. ^.^